Day 30

Every Wednesday, for the past eight years since my divorce, like clockwork, I check to see if it's a "lucky week" on the child support website. It rarely is. In the nine going on ten years of my daughters life, I have been to court and in touch with our attorney more times than I care to even count. This habitual oversight is frustrating,  aggravating, and stressful. I don't need it.
Yes, sadly this occurs more often than you may think or know about. Non payment of child support and child abandonment has become a disgraceful epidemic on our culture. My daughter has no idea who her father is. No money can repair that, but accepting some ounce of responsibility by paying mandated support helps me save more for her college. And she will be going to college.
Through the years my daughter has seen me dressed for court, she has heard my efforts on the phone with the probation department, she has heard the phone calls or seen the mail when he is arrested. In her 9 years, my ex husband has been arrested at least 10 times for non payment and had countless warrants issued. That's disgusting.
Through being a divorced parent with a newborn, raising her with zero help except from my mother, through sickness, quickly catching her first steps on my way out the door for work and crying the whole way there because I might miss something, I have never strayed from anything for my child. This is why, I suppose, I formed the habit of checking on the support and ensuring it was/is handled through the proper channels. Every two weeks, there I am, on the phone, reminding the overloaded probation drpartment that a warrant is past due to be issued.
I don't need this. Yes, I save it for her college or spend it on her school clothes, etc. Every holiday, (his favorite non payment months are her birthday and Christmas) I go broke to make sure she doesn't have less. Ever.
Im tired of telling the probation department to issue a warrant and I am tired of this 8 year old habit of scratching a lottery ticket every week to see if I've won some measly amount. Right now, he's back in arrears over $2400. Not quite his highest achievement, 13,000$ is yet to be beat. I'm done. Let the arrears add up this year. If he pays, let it stay there. I...we, don't need it.
Day 30... pardon my french, but screw his irresponsibility. I leave it to the police and the great hands of Karma.